Just so I don't lose these if I ever changed my layout:
Xander (to Daddy): What if Heavenly Father wanted me to do naughty things? That would be good for me, but bad for you.
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Daddy (to Xander): Are you for real?
Xander: Of course there is such thing as me!
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I had some girls over for a girls night and we were talking a little loud, so Xander came out and asked my friends this...
Xander: Would you mind keeping it down a little, cause I'm trying to get some sleep.
(Then on his way back into his room, he mumbled "Hmmph, now maybe I can get some rest!")
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While flushing his poo...
Xander: Everyone get to the boats!
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singing "Follow the Prophet" (Adam was a prophet, first one that we know, in a place called Eden, he helped things to grow)
Xander: Who's Eden? Who is he?
Daddy: What?
Xander: Eden. He helped things to grow.
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Daddy: Do you know what Lil's trying to do? She's trying to sleep.
Xander: No. She's trying to wake up. Aaaaannnhhh! Look at my big muscles! (muscle-man pose)
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Daddy: Xander, are you going to be a good boy today?
Xander: Nope. Not today.
Daddy: Well, when are you going to start being a good boy?
Xander: Ummm, peter.
Daddy: Peter?
Xander: Yeah, peter.
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While driving around the city for an hour, looking for a place to park, to go watch the fireworks...
Xander: These fireworks are too far away. Let's just go home.
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Brian had just left the house and came back in...
Xander: Why are you back home?
Daddy: I forgot my address. (to the place he was going)
Xander:(to mommy) Oh. He forgot his dress.
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We were singing "She waded in the water and she got her feet all wet..."
Xander: What is she waiting for in the water?
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When I put Xander to bed tonight...
Xander: There are fishies swimming in my room, and they are scaring me.
Mommy: There are no fishies in here, and besides, fishies are not scary.
Xander: Well, there is a shark in here, and it will bite me.
Mommy: There isn't even any water in here. There are no fishies and no sharks. Now, goodnight.
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Xander: I want some Cheez-icks
Mommy: They aren't Cheez-icks. They are Cheez-its.
Xander: I want some Cheez-picks.... some Cheez-picks-your-nose.
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Xander had two ear infections, and a stomach-ache. But he really wanted to come with me to a party at Hailey's house.
Xander: I don't have any ear infections or any belly-fections anymore. So we can go to the party.
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Brian told Xander that we were going to rent the movie "Philadelphia" to watch tonight after the kids went to bed.
Xander:(Later that night, while he was getting ready for bed) After I go to bed, you and Daddy are going to watch "Logan".
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Xander: Are we going to the Aquarium?
Mommy: Yes, we are going to the Aquarium.
(Above conversation takes place 20 times.)
Mommy: Xander, please do NOT ask me again if we are going to the Aquarium.
Xander: Oh, ok.
What a good boy. I did hear him later, however, whispering the question to himself.
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Xander: When I go to preschool, I am going to learn how to fix teeth, and how to read.
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Putting his rubber snake in his shirt...
Xander: He's nursing.
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Xander: Daddy is your husband.
Mommy: Yes he is.
Xander: I like your husband.
Mommy: I like my husband too.